Sunbed Enthusiast Gifts

'We have every artificial tanning method under the sun.'

'And we don't discriminate against people of colour.'

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Sunbathers.

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Beach flirting

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

A gap between the solar panels

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

Sun Screen Denial - I Don't burn...

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'Don't you think your Jim has taken getting his favourite sun lounger as far as it can go?'

Scandalous! The Germans are occupying the best places on the beach!

Some of my Favourite Things....Things you absolutely cannot do when you have kids.

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

"How?"

Two piece outfits only.

Pass the SPF 20,000

'I need all the heat I can get before I have to go to the North Pole to prepare for this Christmas.'

Mexican Dog

'I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked.'

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

"We must be close, I can smell sunblock."

'She certainly gets a lot out of her bikini.'

Pearson, I Smell Something Burning

"We come all this way to relax in the sun, then lug all this stuff to protect it from us."

'Life's a beach, innit.'

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

'Marcie has her own way of cooking ribs low and slow--she takes them with her to the tanning salon.'

'Personally this Global Warming thing is right up my alley.'

'Umm...guys, this isn't tanning spray.'

Beach body.