Sunbed Strategist Gifts

Scandalous! The Germans are occupying the best places on the beach!

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"I can't decide whether to get upset and wake him up... or wait and see if it works!"

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

That kid's all business.

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

"How could you forget where you buried dad. You do know he has the car keys in his pocket?"

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

"Oh, it's just more white-male stuff."

"I'm not sure I like your working vacations."

'And another thing - you hog the duvet!'

Ice cream makers.

Flexible working

'Governor game change and his replacement debate moderators...'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'How did our ‘Get Away From It All' vacation turn into a ‘Take Most Of It With You' long weekend?'

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"

'Marcie has her own way of cooking ribs low and slow--she takes them with her to the tanning salon.'

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

'After all these years of purposely losing to the boss, I beat the pulp out of him and turned in my resignation.'

Protecting the green

"Testing the "I could do this job in my sleep" theory."

"The secret to my productivity is sleeping when everyone is awake."

I'd say you've got assertivity issues

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'When we got married, I said I'd move mountains for you...I never said anything about a sofa!'

'His last breakthrough came in a dream.'

"Hold on ! Hold on! When you said you'd played this game before at school...."

'May I speak to you as a man to a woman?'