Sunbed Connoisseur Gifts

'Marcie has her own way of cooking ribs low and slow--she takes them with her to the tanning salon.'

Sunbathers.

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Beach flirting

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

A gap between the solar panels

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

'Don't you think your Jim has taken getting his favourite sun lounger as far as it can go?'

Scandalous! The Germans are occupying the best places on the beach!

"How?"

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge',

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

Mexican Dog

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

'I need all the heat I can get before I have to go to the North Pole to prepare for this Christmas.'

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'Personally this Global Warming thing is right up my alley.'

Pearson, I Smell Something Burning

'Life's a beach, innit.'

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

"We come all this way to relax in the sun, then lug all this stuff to protect it from us."

'She certainly gets a lot out of her bikini.'

Chillaxing!

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

Beach body.

Summer

'How can you call yourself a paleoconservative? - I think you have a very NICE tan.'

Egyptian umbrella

Cat taking it easy after spending the previous 23 hours sleeping.

Man sun bathing from Earth to the Sun

Quarantine: The great equalizer

Bad Idea #24: tanning under a solar powered sun lamp.