Sunbed Enthusiast T-Shirts

'We have every artificial tanning method under the sun.'

'And we don't discriminate against people of colour.'

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Sunbathers.

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

Beach flirting

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

A gap between the solar panels

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

Scandalous! The Germans are occupying the best places on the beach!

'Don't you think your Jim has taken getting his favourite sun lounger as far as it can go?'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

Sun Screen Denial - I Don't burn...

"How?"

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

Some of my Favourite Things....Things you absolutely cannot do when you have kids.

Pass the SPF 20,000

Two piece outfits only.

Mexican Dog

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

'I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked.'

'I need all the heat I can get before I have to go to the North Pole to prepare for this Christmas.'

"We must be close, I can smell sunblock."

'She certainly gets a lot out of her bikini.'

'Personally this Global Warming thing is right up my alley.'

'Marcie has her own way of cooking ribs low and slow--she takes them with her to the tanning salon.'

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

'Life's a beach, innit.'

"We come all this way to relax in the sun, then lug all this stuff to protect it from us."

Pearson, I Smell Something Burning

Beach body.

'Umm...guys, this isn't tanning spray.'