Sumo Aficionado Pillows

"Does this loincloth make me look skinny?"

Japanese Wrestling Federation.

'He's a big softie really'.

'I'd say you were in perfect shape - that's if you were a Sumo wrestler' (doctor to overweight man).

Sumo Love.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Born In Captivity.

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

Career Choices

City Boy.

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'The Buck Stops Here.'

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"I am dressed for the job I want."

Changing Room Decisions

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

'He may look important, but his briefcase is full of bones.'

Penguin suit fitting.

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"I don't care if Sales thinks you're a superhero, the cape violates the dress code and the mask is a security violation."

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

'Bark less, work more.'

"Yeah! It was GREAT teaming up with Catwoman. I just wish she didn't sleep for 18 hours a day..."