Summer Safety Guru Gifts

There's a special place in Hell for folks who leave kids or pets locked in the car with the windows rolled up.

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

AI Safety Officer

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

Beware of Everything

Nice park. . .

The Hive, Inc. Think safety! 17 days without a honey boo-boo.

Safest Airline in The World

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

"The shell has a high SPF, but I still need sunscreen for the rest of me."

The Future of Flight?

"Aaaughhh! Don't play with that!"

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

'It's an old work injury.'

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

"Not Lick, you fool, lich! It's the heimlich maneuver."