Summer Joker Gifts

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Young Picasso at the Beach

Get crazy once in a while

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

"You know, no matter how much you stare at your watch, summer isn't going to come any faster."

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Only four more weeks before school is out...and then we're free for the time of our lives!"

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"Every summer I regret having used up all my vacation days in January."

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

Apparently summer's going to start next month.

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"Those are the sickos that made a film of Zorg's autopsy!"

Toilet humour

'First item on the agenda...Throw out the agenda!!'

"If you wear these caps backwards, they keep the sun out of your eyes."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Hotness

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

No Miss, I wasn't day dreaming. I was planning my summer vacation!

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

No infrastructure problem here

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'