Sugar Savior Pillows

"I'm worried about him - he's praying to Mrs. Butterworth."

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Wordplay: Lemonade - Save the Lemon.

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"Young man, don't you ever add pepper to my soup again!"

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

You wait until the polar icecaps melt my friend then we will see who is laughing!

Lawyer to client: 'Yes, your turnover at the pastry shop would fall under tort law.'

"So I said to myself...who am I to deny this calling?"

Houdini 2019

"Teeth cleaned. No questions asked."

'Could we have a little chat when you're through here?'

I resolve to drive past a gym at least twice a week

The Diabetic Hummingbird Feeder

How to save the Planet...

"As an additional torment, our fire and brimstone are fuelled by coal."

'By distilling this sea water, we now create, every day, 100,000 gallons of detergent-filled drinking water.'

Prisoner of pollution.

'You've got to do something about your chocolate addition.'

While you were out I switched energy suppliers,dear.

Biden tapes together the Paris Climate Agreement.

'It's a hybrid.'

'Please stand by. Our Newscaster has lost his toupee.'

"Don't look left or right!"

"Useful? You bet! I wouldn't have known I hadn't met my donut goal without my Fatbit."

"We are so sorry – normally we don't allow him to have refined sugar."

Wasting Water

Water is protected within a safe.

Didn't your mom teach you...

"When you put it to your ear you can hear the city."

'Ooo, honey look! On board recycling!'

"Trying not to eat a cookie."