Sugar Plum Fairy Fan Gifts

Plie

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

Here be dragons.

"We’re a lending aquarium."

Neptune

"Well, that one got away."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"I knew we'd eventually catch him. He can't run and run as fast as he once did."

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

"Name your sources."

Midnight Basketball

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

'See, Mother - I knew those genetically modified beans would come good!'

"Wait, I'm texting the tooth fairy...I always like to keep her informed of these visits."

'Having eight hands should be a big advantage, but unfortunately, I am not so well coordinated...'

Rapunzel - before the make-over.

Mirror mirror...

'And you thought you grew big pumpkins.'

Fairtale prosecutions.

'Yeah, year, I get the moral of the story, but what are the legal ramifications?'

"Someone has eaten our porridge, let's have pancakes."

"This is all I have time for now, dear...the knight slays the dragon and marries the princess. For more detail go to www.fairytale.net."

The emperor has no phone!

"Read me the one about Ali Obama and the Forty Community Organizers."

"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"

"It's post-gingerbread."

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs on the Maury show: "I have the DNA results right here!"