Success Story Aficionado T-Shirts

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class. I'm the one you said would never amount to anything.'

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Jacques et Jille

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

'I'll call you Friday, there's a one in seven chance that's the right day of the week.'

High Five

"Oh, just great, Dick. How are things going with you?"

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

Making The World A Better Place for Giant Multinational Corporations

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

"Dear, it's the financial news. Seat belts fastened, seat backs in upright position."

'And there is where you put the batteries.'

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

"... and your great great grand father lost the race but the it was discovered the tortoise was on stéroids."

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

'What the hell is a win-win situation?'

'Turn up the air conditioning. Panting always puts us at a disadvantage during negotiations.'