Subtext Sleuth Gifts

Text/Subtext Message

George wasn't good at reading between the lines.

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

Covidiom: The Pen is Mightier than the Sword.

Hidden Facebook Features

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

Facebook in the Boxing Ring

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

School of journalism and politics.

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

Man reading a book in the library. Notices a man next to him reading all book about spying.

"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"

'These days, it's hard to tell whom to trust - T.V. news, or your social network. . .'

"This can't be soup....where are all the little letters that usually float in it?"

"It's got my current Wordle winning streak on it."

Fakebook

I just spend all day inventing the conjunction! And?

Whodunits

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

'Tell me something about yourself that I haven't Googled.'

'And always remember that it is the gritty colon itself, not the half-baked semi-colon, that wields the power to confound even the most erudite minds.'

"Quit worrying about corroborating your sources - it's not as if anyone's going to take all this literally."

Playing dead is easy, but when they ask me to speak, I have to imagine them in their underwear.