Literary Sleuth Gifts

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"

"Clues, Watson? How can I find clues when all I see is germs?"

"I shouldn't be telling you, but the artist's real name is J. K. Rowling."

'I'll take the case,' I said. Or did I? I fear I'm no longer able to differentiate between interior and exterior monologue.'

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

Stolen Crime Books.

You can always tell a good book by its libel.

'I'm working on an upgrade of the computer, "Watson." I'll call it "Holmes".'

"Watson - look! The Cheshire cat burglar!"

Whodunits

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

'Turns out it was J K Rowling, in the drawing room, with a laptop.'

The evidence destroyed

'You've been killing files again.'

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"I have always depended on the content of strangers."

"It's a 12 inch chess board - the game's a foot."