Secret Message Sleuth Gifts

"Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards."

Barks in code.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

Clickbait

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'Is it one moo for yes two moos for no?'

The Modern Godot

"I've run out of invisible ink..."

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

Cryptologists Anonymous

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Two men converse secretively

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

What security flaw?

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

Advanced Password Hint

"Have you ever noticed how the eyes seem to follow you around the room?"

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

'It's okay, mom. I go through this every day at school.'

I don't trust that guy.