Substitute Food Specialist Gifts

"Happy Birthday, dear! It's gluten-free, lactose-free and sugar-free."

Soup of the month.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"In da house"

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

Tartar sauce.

Christmas Canapes

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Warning: Eating This Food Could Result in a Decrease of Health Benefits

'I'm all for GM food, it's done wonders for my profit margins!'

'There's not use-by date on honey: It pretty much lasts forever...'

The Blending Of Comestibles And Foam Rubber At The Submolecular Level!

Red Square. He's an important man, the caviar chief for the whole country. I still think he could have laughed when I call him the "Sturgeon General." I (heart) Moscow.

"I just finished my on-line food safety course!"

Coronavirus Blocks Food Delivery

Antonio Carluccio.

Ace Doughnut Co.

'That IS the chef's surprise, sir -- the pork chops are really tofu.'

Something Grown Something Shot.

'Ryker's Natural Foods - Kelp wanted'

"Apparently we're reared by people who share the values of the people who eat us."

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

"Dealing with a poorly informed public over GM crops is a nightmare...."

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

"Aw, man, that's never coming out."

"Wonderful - this will be the absolute best popcorn anyone has ever seen."

"This is a 'deli-cut' situation...."

'I've worked here for 20 years. I guess you could call me a 'seasoned' veteran.'