Subscription Specialist Pillows

'I subscribe to HBO, Netflix & Hulu. . . but I am dropping you.'

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

Good Luck!

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

Wine of the Day Club

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

Exploring Healthcare Careers

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

'Damn, we forgot to cancel the book of the month!'

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

Medical Billing & Coding

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

Houdini 2019

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

'...you say my electronic submission carried a virus that destroyed all the hard drives in your company?'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

"I'd like to buy your subscription list to check for changes of address."

"When did Charlie switch to a subscription model?" "Sniff my butt"

Club of the Month

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'

"Our hospital is dedicated to cost transparency for our patients. I think you'll find our prices are so transparent you can't even see them."

More holiday ICD-10 codes you may encounter...

'Resuscitation is available if you pass out from the bill.'

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

"So now, you have to become a subscription service."

Our bank account is now behind a paywall...

'Everybody, please welcome Moose and Rocco to the team. They're our new revenue enhancement and collections specialists.'