Subscription Strategists Pillows

'It's not a revenue problem, it's a spending problem.' - 'If it makes you that mad cancel your subscription to Netflix.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

Wine of the Day Club

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

Time-of-the-month club.

Houdini 2019

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

"I'd like to buy your subscription list to check for changes of address."

Club of the Month

"When did Charlie switch to a subscription model?" "Sniff my butt"

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

I don't know why you don't just cancel your subscription to the Rock-of-the-Month club.

"So now, you have to become a subscription service."

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, they send me stuff they know I'll like and they bill me for it."

Our bank account is now behind a paywall...

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

White middle class riot.

"You know very well what subscription forms."

Subscribe to The Times? Girl Scout cookies? Donate to the food bank? Bob only needed a few items, but first he had to walk the Solicitor Gauntlet.

'I subscribe to HBO, Netflix & Hulu. . . but I am dropping you.'

Supermarket aisles in relation to health.

Aisle 4 Water

"I love boutique healthcare! I have a great doctor on retainer and I get this great subscription box every month!"

'Stop whining about commitment! I only asked you to go in on a magazine subscription.'