Submission Gifts

A human dog park.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'I sent out for everything.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

The Anti-Agent

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"You're fired."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."