Subbuteo Enthusiast Gifts

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Odette from Swan Lake

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

Sumo Love.

"Cheer up, grod, these are the good old days."

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

Grim Reaper Snack Bar

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

Pizza Delivery Delays

One youth says: 'Lamppost, bollard, tarmac, kerb.' Other says: Zebra crossing,traffic hump, postbox.' Caption: Street language

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

'Heretofore unnoticed resemblance between G. Washington and A. Lincoln'

"Oh no, it's the Grim Streaker."

Spring Cleaning

"I have to bring him with me otherwise he wouldn't let me indoors."

"I'm following the paleo diet. Not that there's much choice, of course."

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Ted never got used to hitchhikers on November 2nd, the Day of the Dead.

When Pugs dream.

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

"Listen Matt, me and the boys think you might be overdoing this Paleo diet thing!"

"I'm back from the dead - I sure hope my old-timey views on race and gender are unchanged and still acceptable!"

"You really like this place, don't you, Harry?"

"Our meaty ancestors didn't stand a chance once bears tasted their sweet, sweet haunch."

'It's dead in here tonight.'

Jake played with a dead man's hand

'Give me a beer, luv. . . Yeah, a mop.'