Sabre-tooth Style Enthusiast Gifts

'Because mastodon fur is out of STYLE, that's why!'

The adoration of the gels.

Hair Crop Circle

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

Man in a Tuxedo

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

Judge getting hair done.

Deer Barber

"Now she could watch the special on root canal treatment."

"It's not so much a 'power' suit anymore – it's more of an 'happy to be employed' ensemble."

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

"Look, you took a huge fashion risk and it just didn't work out for you."

Jim Jr. never felt like he fit in with the rest of his family.

An elephant in an aerobics class wearing horizontal-striped workout tights. Instructor says,

Fashion Magazine: In/Out/Back In.

Jo's Beauty Salon. On vacation. Closed for Summer. That's when things got ugly.

"He spoils them."

Butterfly Bow-tie.

Bicuspid: A cuspid that can go either way.

'I wouldn't be seen dead in a cardboard coffin!'

"No - you put the cat out."

The Beard Movement

Their honeymoon was a disaster. She spent all night in the bathroom, flossing.

' How many times a year do you visit the dentist?' 'Twice, one for each tooth.'

Dye now, pay later!

'Go ahead. I just love to have my nails cut.'

'Going private also means I get ten per cent off Dental Implants and Replacement Crowns!'