Stylish Scrapper Pillows

'Hey, watch the threads.'

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

'What's holding him up?'

Mod Kwan Doh

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

'Gee, Doc; why the long face?'

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

An elephant in an aerobics class wearing horizontal-striped workout tights. Instructor says,

"I just had these linen scrubs dry-cleaned!"

'... So one day I thought, hey, why walk all the way out to the mound just to take a pitcher out of the game?'

"Does the phone in my back pocket make my butt look too big?"

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

'Forget it, Bob, they're way to skinny!'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

Not many people pulled off the Movember look this well!

90% Wool, 10% Lycra

You put your shirt on backward again, Bob.

"Getting my daily news fix."

"How far is that in city blocks?"

Honey I wish you wouldn't bring your home with you

Al has a bad hair day.

Inappropriate footwear

'Have you got anything that goes with suede?'

'I've got a suit for every day of the year - this is it.'

"I'm trying to dress less traditional thug and more smart criminal."