Style-savvy Humorist Gifts

'Well, how do you like your new nose!' Reply: 'Can't go to the office party like that!! My colleague has exactly the same!!'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Honest Vending

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"1-1"

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

The Dandy

Gustav Holst

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

Flight Socks.

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

'I understand he has a hard boiled management style.'

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

Cat scares away fish design on man's shirt.

Medusa's baby picture

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

Three-way mirror

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

"I'm thinking of waxing my back."