Style-savvy Humorist Gifts

'Well, how do you like your new nose!' Reply: 'Can't go to the office party like that!! My colleague has exactly the same!!'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"1-1"

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Honest Vending

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

The Dandy

Gustav Holst

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

Flight Socks.

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

'I understand he has a hard boiled management style.'

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

Cat scares away fish design on man's shirt.

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

Three-way mirror

Plant Closed - Downsized Too Far

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

"I'm thinking of waxing my back."

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."