Stuffed Animal Confidant Gifts

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

Baby Bear.

False food.

Help me!

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Personal Assistants.

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

Spa Dog

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

"Nostalgia is one helluva drug."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

Child Brings Teddy Bear to Vet

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."