Stuffed Animal Confidant Gifts

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Your love gives me strength."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Baby Bear.

False food.

Help me!

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

Personal Assistants.

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"Nostalgia is one helluva drug."

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

Spa Dog

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

Child Brings Teddy Bear to Vet

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."