Students Dreaming Big Gifts

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'I need enough for popcorn and a movie.'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

'I can dream, can't I?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

"When I grow up I'm going to become president and I'm going to abolish homework!"

'You never did have any business acumen!'

"That's alright, I'll keep you company: I'm not in a hurry to get to school..."

Adjunct educator substitute teacher.

"Finally! Summer is here! That means we're one year closer to college!"

Graduate Job Openings

Remember coefficients? No. Me neither. Nostalgebra.

Miracle mirror

"Gracie, you do not need a cell phone. Little girls like you don't get important phone calls."

"You've got an unconditional offer from the University of West Lincs."

'Higher learning gets higher each year.'

'I'm looking as young as 20 years ago? Honey, promise me not to see an eye specialist for the next 20 years!'

'...do I want to risk putting up with someone like me?'

'I purchased this for my daughter. After reading about the effect of the healthcare law on the practice of medicine, I want to return it.'

"I'm moving to bigger premises - I shall be outside Harrods next week!"

"We're hoping he'll end up on the street - Harley, Downing, Wall..."

"Oh, I wanted to be so many things. Of course, being wrinkled was not one of them."

Skateboarding Prince Charming

Someday, when my ship comes in, we won't have to take the bus

"These are the people I hate dealing with...buried in debt unsure about their futures, no hopes or prospects."

"Look, Emily. We have no chemistry. All we have is recess."

Superhero Academy. We've evaluated your applications and our advice to both of you is, don't be a hero.

"Who knew we could take our Frequent Flyer miles with us?"

"I told him he was over-thinking the whole job-money-career thing and that he should just enjoy being five."

I'm afraid the children I may someday have won't get into a good college.