String Wizard Gifts

'The great thing about string theory is that it ties up quite a few loose ends.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

The Family Joules: Part 21

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Piano Recital

"It's a play on words."

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

Where was I?

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.