String Wizard T-Shirts

'The great thing about string theory is that it ties up quite a few loose ends.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"It's a play on words."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

Piano Recital

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

Where was I?

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."