Word Wizard Gifts

'Radiology confirms that, like many other teachers of English, you do have a book in you.'

Corrective Lens

License Bureau

Poet's Corner

A spiders web crossword

"The plea bargain was for a slap on the wrist, not a smack on the head!"

"What can I say? I was an English major."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'Who.' 'Who.' 'Who.' 'Or is it whom?'

'Everyone was there to shake my hand, when I won the Spelling Bee, but you were there to hold my hand when I was practicing for the Spelling Bee.'

Good start. Needs more gibberish.

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'Vocabulary'?'

'Writing is just like texting except you have to use all of the letters in each word.'

'I could knock off the legal jargon, but then I'd have nothing to say.'

Despite its name, the Thesaurus was quite often at a loss for words.

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

Sylvia helped Robert to edit one of his memos.

'I'll give it to you straight - This disease is almost IMPOSSIBLE to pronounce.'

In HR office: 'Yes, I'm very punctual. I always use commas and periods.'

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

Man on phone: 'Hi. My name is J8 I1 M3, and I think I'm addicted to Scrabble.'

Law School Contracts 101: Writing with words nobody can understand.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

'They're words, Billy, assembly required.'

Outline; Introduction, Body, Conclusion.

'That's like, so random!' (teenager reading about the laws of chance)

'We need another word for 'loss' that doesn't sound like loss.'

'Are you sure brook is misspelled'

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

'But Dr johnson ov wat yuse wil thsi dicshunary ov yors be?'

'How are we supposed to show any creativity when they've already made up their minds how these words are spelled?'

"You tend to overuse the exclamation point."

"I'm sorry, but I can't sell you one until you give me the correct pronunciation."