Word Wizards Gifts

"It's eagle before snake except after feather."

"'Litterbug' isn't politically correct. They prefer 'environmentally challenged.'"

'Were there any new buzzwords created while I was out to lunch.'

'Sometimes I wish you were smarter so you'd realize how stupid you are.'

'Dr.Davis was beginning to wish that he'd taken a little more care in wording his advert.'

"I'll have a vole, please Carol"

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

Shakespeare Quote

Author of thought for the day on commitment remains anonymous.

"Make my speech so incomprehensible it won't matter if I'm taken out of context."

"This would be a lot easier if they didn't make us include the vowels."

Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers...

Danae's Prescient Auto-Biography: '...My prescient autobiography is a publisher's dream...no need for fact-checking!'

Babel Construction Co.

"My client can't help his verbal obfuscation. He's suffering from straightforwardness dysfunctionality."

'Let's say we spent the summer devouring literature. We ate alphabet soup, didn't we?'

'Mommy, is 'fuchsia' a naughty word?'

'Hell for Court Reporters.' 'All the witnesses here either speak 500 words per minutes or are mimes.'

These are for being able to spell 'Afghanistan'...

We have skule clothes.

"Can you fit our annual report into 140 characters or less?"

Spell-Check Bee

Politically Correct Dictionaries

'you'll find our books on claustrophobia outside.'

The cobby gink bought a bort for the bint.

What the critics are saying about Hell.

'Come on, nobody's this bad at this game. O stupid, try an O! I mean, why would you even think Q would be right?'

"'C'?! Seriously? These illiterate fools are going to kill me!"

'How many words per minute do you type?'

It's alphabet soup. I'm going to cast a spell.

He knows a few words, but he doesn't stay on message.

Yeah, I'm worried all the time, too --- I wish we'd never invented the future tense! (Published originally on January 12, 1998.)

Congress today convened a special panel to study use of illegal performance enhancing drugs on the senior Scrabble tour. Members of Congress expressed outrage that such a national pastime could be sullied by fiber doping. Their anger led to an angry exchange with one witness. Hey Congress, here's a four-letter word … Turn off her mic.

"Are we their yet?"

"I'm always surprised at the amount of English Usage inspired by the Math Preview section of the ACT."