Wordplay Wizards Gifts

An angel looks at a news box containing the "International Herald Tribune".

"Yes, sir, we do specialise in lisp treatment..."

"That's not what I meant when I said let's pull out all the stops."

The G-nome Project (Mapping the genome).

Wet paint ahead...mined where you step.

"Dog...God. God...dog. Cat...tac."

"Don't forget to call it a 'procedure'—it makes it less scary."

'Npotcz? I think it's one of those new government regulatory agencies.'

Oh, how the Pickney bird twins longed for a world without idioms,

"Well son - they're orthoducks."

'I can confidently say...it will sell for squillions!' (Premature Evaluation).

'Parting is such sweet sorrow.'

'I have no idea what makes that guy tick.'

A man drives down a road that has two road signs with quotations marks positioned on either side of it.

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'I came down with the shingles, Darn slippery roof,'

"I went out on a limb to hire you. Dolan."

If I'd wanted a bushel of baked beans, I would have beckoned Bobby Bigsby!.. Pickled peppers, Peter! I asked you to pick up a peck of pickled pepper!

"A large portion of every meal is donated to charity."

'He spoke in millions...then I found out he was a bacteriologist.'

"Is that like having really bad skin or something?"

'What I meant by 'quark' in 'Finnegans Wake' was a hypothetical particle with a fractional electric charge.

Window Cleaner has 'Managing Director' on his jacket.

"It's the worse punctured lung I've ever seen, sir."

'You'll be a new man after this procedure.' 'Good, send my bill to the new man.'

'It's Mr. Rendles and his 'bitter half'.'

'Thanks, it's an English word - it means 'spiritual warrior'.'

'Ouch! Boy, just try finding a needle in a haystack when you want to!'

'Isn't it ironic that the first three letters in funeral spell fun?'

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

Wordilly Durdillies - Rotery club

'You are pigeon toed.'

''Language' is a great invention, but I keep getting syntax errors.'

Accident adds insult to injury: 'Moron!'

Beware of Doggerel