Language Wizard Gifts

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"Does you friend speak English?"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

'I teach foreign languages to ATM machines. What do you do?'

A Crossword puzzle.

'Why do I always get a teaching assistant whose pronunciation is awful?'

"I'm an international service agent. I can say 'I'm not responsible' and 'I don't know' in four different languages."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

The Family Joules: Part 21

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"It's a play on words."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'