Syntax Wizard Gifts

'He's counting how many words 'whom' with an 'm'. His record is six hundred and twenty nine.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"It's a play on words."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"Could you repeat that word?"

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.