String Seeker T-Shirts

Music Lessons. It was a mistake signing a guitar lessons contract when the advertisement said "no strings attached."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

Pampered and poodled.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

Blue Stockings

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

Mister Pretty Shoes

"I don't like your application."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo.

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Antonio Vivaldi