Stressball Squasher Gifts

'I'm afraid you failed your stress test.', 'AAAARGH!'

In basket-case.

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Working hours.

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

Busy day at the office.

'101 ways to drive your boss crazy.' 'How to stay sane at the top.'

"No, Mr. Kurlander, I don't have, nor have I ever had, a recipe for cranberry muffins."

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

'I'm telling you, this is a tough place to work. Pass the pepper spray.'

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

Yeah, I know I only needed one stress ball to squeeze, but this is way more relaxing.

"Sorry about the long wait, but good news. Other than long waits in waiting rooms, I can't find any other causes for your irritability."

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

'for what we are about to receive...'

Why don't you do what I do, pass it on.

'I never let the stress of the job get me down.'

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

God's Stress Ball.

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

'My ears just fell off! Hold my calls!'

"I can't play squash tonight, Ed. I promised Linda I'd put in a little Kama Sutra time with her before the opera."

"I had an awful dream. I was being chased by a standardized test!"

"Did we tell you? Debbie's going to be on 'Car Talk.'"

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked!"

"My mistake. It wasn't a mouse, I just dropped my roll."

"This is a great place for someone with Tourette's - you come here, you're just like everyone else."

'Look here Frobisher, you've adhered to the rules. You haven't cheated, self-aggrandised or whined about money. That's rather unsportsmanlike of you.'

End Gay Stereotyping Now!