Stressball Squasher Pillows

'I'm afraid you failed your stress test.', 'AAAARGH!'

In basket-case.

Working hours.

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'101 ways to drive your boss crazy.' 'How to stay sane at the top.'

Busy day at the office.

"No, Mr. Kurlander, I don't have, nor have I ever had, a recipe for cranberry muffins."

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

'I'm telling you, this is a tough place to work. Pass the pepper spray.'

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

"Sorry about the long wait, but good news. Other than long waits in waiting rooms, I can't find any other causes for your irritability."

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

'for what we are about to receive...'

Why don't you do what I do, pass it on.

'I never let the stress of the job get me down.'

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

"I had an awful dream. I was being chased by a standardized test!"

"Did we tell you? Debbie's going to be on 'Car Talk.'"

'My ears just fell off! Hold my calls!'

"I can't play squash tonight, Ed. I promised Linda I'd put in a little Kama Sutra time with her before the opera."

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked!"

"My mistake. It wasn't a mouse, I just dropped my roll."

"This is a great place for someone with Tourette's - you come here, you're just like everyone else."

'Look here Frobisher, you've adhered to the rules. You haven't cheated, self-aggrandised or whined about money. That's rather unsportsmanlike of you.'

End Gay Stereotyping Now!

"I'm prescribing you two metres of bubble wrap three times a day."