Stress Ball Enthusiasts Pillows

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

Working hours.

Busy day at the office.

'You need some stress.'

"How long have we been sitting on balls, Jon?"

'I'm telling you, this is a tough place to work. Pass the pepper spray.'

'It's good to get away from business, where you worry about the bottom line all day!'

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

'I'm a mongoose. I fight and kill cobras, and you ask me why I'm stressed?'

The Arc of History tries bending toward justice after skipping yoga class for a few years.

Yoga Class: Position Vacant

"Yoga CAN be of great benefit. . . but only if you learn how to do it PROPERLY!"

'It's for you.'

psychiatrist - "...I'm just adding up your bill"

"I know this sucks, but just think of how awful we'll feel tomorrow."

"I just get a little tense before everything."

The Presidency Ages You

'Harlow, perhaps you should go back to SMOKING!'

The doctor told him to go home and get his affairs in order. Instead, he went back to work, died, and left his affairs in utter disarray.

'...And on weekends, he worries about what he forgot to worry about during the week.'

"Actually the human body is 60% skinny latte and 40% anxiety."

"I'm prescribing you two metres of bubble wrap three times a day."

"Well, so much for Jamison's celebrated air of amused detachment."

'That is the businessman's lunch, sir -- coffee and Prozac.'

STRIP Hambone: Suicidal over computer error

"Welcome welcome. Through these gates awais a paradise where the ball of string has no end and EVERYONE catches the red dot."

"In my expert medical opinion, you are suffering from hypochondria."

Preemptive customer service.

"Easter. . . it's a frightening time for me!"

"You mentioned that you thrive under stress. So, you're getting one of our 20 year old computers."

'I'm afraid you failed your stress test.', 'AAAARGH!'