Stress-free Feline Gifts

'We all lost a lot of money in the stock market and our 401ks look pretty bad right now, but let's not forget we're cats. Just a nice piece of furniture to sharpen our claws and your troubles just melt away.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

"I hate it when we fight."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

Shelter Cat Nap

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

Love.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

"Did you have a cat?"

"So is it a deal? You take naps for me and I'll chase mice for you!"

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"Sure, it's been a tough quarter, but somehow we always land on our feet."

Kid tries to lasso a cat

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

Cat and owner sticking out tongues at each other.

Cat Seance

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

Cat in tank sees fish form letters to spell out, 'Help'.

Spot the fur ball.