Feline Pampering Expert Gifts

"We need to have a talk about the cat."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'I'll have the steak and she'll have the tuna.'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

Woman Curls Her Dog.

"Oh, stop whining. We ALL need a haircut."

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

Dog Jogger

"Hey, don't complain. They declawed me!"

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'You say he's been shaking his head?'

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"They say that every dog has its day, and this apparently is mine."

"Mum, I've made a poodle-cat."

'Now THAT'S a massage!'

"...yes I just popped in to feed your cat and do a spot of vacuuming!"

'I'm increasing his quota of tummy rubs.'

'Neutered, declawed and wearing a big bow. This is no way to go through life, Tom.'

"Can I have the "dalmatian look" please?"

'What can I say? The Feng Shui in the litter box was off.'

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

"In my day, dogs slept outside in a doghouse." "But... this is nice."

We have dog spas, dog motels, dog walkers, dog designer clothes...

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"We'll have the people food."

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

Pyramid Dog House.

'Mistress said I could not be a lap-dog anymore... I need to lose weight...'

'You're not still mad about all the toys I bought Zeus on my trip are you? I got you something too.'

"Lately, the demands of our cat have begun to spiral wildly out of control."

'If you ask me, he's glad the vet doesn't make house calls.'

"How much we talking for a deck?"

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