Pet Pampering Aficionado Gifts

'Another 50 pound box of frozen steaks ... who's ordering this stuff?'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Why Poodles Become Killers

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

Dogs can dream too.

Woman Curls Her Dog.

Pampered Pets.

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

My Bowl Is Empty.

"Oh, stop whining. We ALL need a haircut."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

The Clipping

'Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, what's that YOU'RE eating?!'

Dog Jogger

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"Hey, don't complain. They declawed me!"

'My personal trainer, massage therapists, hair stylist and chef.'

"You knew I was a clean breed when you got me."

'You say he's been shaking his head?'

"The bad news is, no walk. The good news is, unlimited belly rubs, chase around the dining room table, salmon for dinner, and you're on my bed tonight."

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

'Don't you think you're spoiling that dog,Dorothy?'

"... and just a pinch of catnip for Oscar."

"He spoils them."

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."

"They say that every dog has its day, and this apparently is mine."

"Has someone forgotten the cucumber slice and lemon wedge in my spring water again, Edna?"

"Happy 126th birthday, girl!"