Pet Pampering Aficionado T-Shirts

'Another 50 pound box of frozen steaks ... who's ordering this stuff?'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Why Poodles Become Killers

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Dogs can dream too.

Woman Curls Her Dog.

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

"Oh, stop whining. We ALL need a haircut."

My Bowl Is Empty.

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

The Clipping

'Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, what's that YOU'RE eating?!'

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

Dog Jogger

"Hey, don't complain. They declawed me!"

'My personal trainer, massage therapists, hair stylist and chef.'

"You knew I was a clean breed when you got me."

'You say he's been shaking his head?'

"... and just a pinch of catnip for Oscar."

'Don't you think you're spoiling that dog,Dorothy?'

"He spoils them."

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"The bad news is, no walk. The good news is, unlimited belly rubs, chase around the dining room table, salmon for dinner, and you're on my bed tonight."

"They say that every dog has its day, and this apparently is mine."

"Has someone forgotten the cucumber slice and lemon wedge in my spring water again, Edna?"

"Happy 126th birthday, girl!"

"Oh sure, I spoil him. But, he always has my back."