Pet Pampering Guru T-Shirts

"You don't think we put too much pressure on him to win Crufts do you?"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

I guess she had other plans for you.

Bathing the dog

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Why Poodles Become Killers

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Dogs can dream too.

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

Woman Curls Her Dog.

Pampered Pets.

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'

My Bowl Is Empty.

"Oh, stop whining. We ALL need a haircut."

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you're going to have to move out - Prissy's allergy to your dandruff is getting worse.'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

The Clipping

'We spoil that dog.'

'Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, what's that YOU'RE eating?!'

'You can't imagine how happy we are to find a vet who makes house calls!'

Dog Jogger

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"Hey, don't complain. They declawed me!"

'My personal trainer, massage therapists, hair stylist and chef.'

"You knew I was a clean breed when you got me."

'You say he's been shaking his head?'