Streetwise Shopper Gifts

'If you want a receipt, you'll have to wait until I close. I'm right-handed.'

Customers Wanted

'That Rolex you sold me was a fake.'

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

'Look, I want you back, but I'm not going to beg.'

'I've got it written down...'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'But what do you sell?'

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

New research on streetcrime

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

"Of course, you try to raise your kids so they won't need lawyers."

Skater dude.

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

"I'm off to the sales!"

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

"I found a really good parking place, dear, so I'm going to spend the weekend downtown shopping. . ."

"Isn't it nice to see more bobbies on the street...?"

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'