Strategy Slingers Gifts

"It's time to break up the company!!"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"I love fast break business success."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

Meet the author

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

Freedom

Oog is an expert at throwing stones at things - he's a "rock-it" scientist.

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Whatever!

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

So you've lost your journalism job. Yep and my freelance contracts. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Free distribution of information is driving publishers out of business. I can't compete against thousands of free blogs. Twenty years I spent learning to be a professional journalist and I'm a dinosaur. What'd you say? I was reading Gawker. Shoot me.

Skywriter's Block

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

"Here is the campaign strategy and here are the after-the-fact excuses."

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'

"Yeah, that's right...ignore me, pal! You don't want an instrument of my excellence and awesomeness that would instantly make you a chick magnet and the envy of all your friends!..."

"You're a writer? But what do you do for money?"

Stock Market - Bull vs Bear

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

"She's always writing in that journal of hers. Maybe she'll be a notary public when she grows up."