Strategy Shifter Pillows

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

'We son't have any goal posts to move...I'm going to need your jackets...'

"After analyzing our latest sales chart, we've decided to stop selling elevators and start marketing downhill skiing products."

"Looks like we found the issue."

How leaders fail

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"It's all a matter of planning...."

Failure/Due Diligence

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'This is what happens when we give up our resistance to change.'

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

I have plenty of work harder bees. Get me more work smarter bees.

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

"Do you call this a business plan?"

Like Minded

'Here's the game plan going forward. We acknowledge any and all 'mistakes,' then fake fixing them.'

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

'Things look much better long-term, once we pass the statute of limitations.'

'We're looking for bold, innovative strategies to pretty much maintain the status quo.'

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'

"And for my next trick, an evidence-based strategy!"

And here is where we stooped to the level of the competition.

'Perhaps we do need a plan 'B'.'