Strategy Shaper Pillows

'Acquisitions can be expensive, but with a few more, we can be done entirely with the cost of customer satisfaction.'

Failure/Due Diligence

"Looks like we found the issue."

How leaders fail

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"It's all a matter of planning...."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

"We need to eliminate the middleman."

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'Can't we take a long view without a long meeting?'

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

'Here's the game plan going forward. We acknowledge any and all 'mistakes,' then fake fixing them.'