Strategy Seeker Pillows

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

Man with a Plan

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

'Before I answer your question, let me briefly review my list of strategies for dealing with difficult people.'

"I do have a fallback position, but it involves firearms."

"We need an end to short-termism, at least until next week"

'We need an Exit strategy.'

'We're looking for bold, innovative strategies to pretty much maintain the status quo.'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

Logistics department plans.

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

"Ok, I came up with the plan. Now you go and implement it."

"Does anyone have even the vaguest idea of what we actually DO?"

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'

"That's a very convincing strategy."

'What's he doing that we're not doing?'

'I'm not telling you to splash people. Just don't be careful when you pass them.'

'Whatever you're doing - don't keep doing it!'

"We only missed two strategic goals: Supply and demand."

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

"And for my next trick, an evidence-based strategy!"

How leaders fail

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"As this shows, the key of good business strategy is simplicity."

"I want to check out that book that has every trick in it."

"I was hoping for more from you 'Mission Statement' than, 'earn a s******d of money'!"

'...If he misses, I want everyone else to immediately start pointing fingers and blaming Brady.'

Put yourself in the right places at the right times more often

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

Politics In The Workplace

Trojan Chess

"Sometimes I get the crazy feeling that he blames us for the budget overrun."