Strategy Mavens Gifts

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

The Cattle show Week.

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

'It was accidentally reversed one day and our profits immediately skyrocketed.'

"Accepting for..."

Ralph Stanley

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Dracula Admires His Offspring.

"She leaked WHAT to the press?"

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

'..Can I interest you in our new fragrance - 'Are''

Tuba Player Stores a Barrel of Beer

'All those opposed, signify by using the usual sign.'

'I realize that you're upset that Oprah hasn't reviewed your new book on her show. But you are on MY show, so why don't you tell us what inspired you to write 'Overcoming Disappointment and Resentment.''

'I can't remember. Edith, am I forgetful?'

"Well the good news is that 67 people want to attend the leadership course, the bad news is that 58 of them want to run it!"

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Scratch 'n' sniff edition...

"You people make me sick. Nonetheless, here's a little toe-tapper."

"My one-man band is breaking up."

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

Elton John