Management Mavens Gifts

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

"Well the good news is that 67 people want to attend the leadership course, the bad news is that 58 of them want to run it!"

'She's absolutely RIGHT, these targets make absolutely NO SENSE!'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"Just go with the workflow."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Man carrying his boss.

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

The Cattle show Week.

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'