Management Mavens Pillows

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

"Well the good news is that 67 people want to attend the leadership course, the bad news is that 58 of them want to run it!"

'She's absolutely RIGHT, these targets make absolutely NO SENSE!'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Man carrying his boss.

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

The Cattle show Week.

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

'It was accidentally reversed one day and our profits immediately skyrocketed.'

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'