Marketing Mavens Pillows

'Our poll shows the typical advertising viewer is all 'targeted' out.'

'Good grief!! You're here already..?!'

'It's not about winning or losing, it's about endorsements.'

'..Can I interest you in our new fragrance - 'Are''

"Buy two pairs of prescription eyewear and we throw in these pop-out eyeball glasses for Halloween."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"#Win!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

Direct Marketing...

Trade Show Sherpas

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

Elevator Pitch

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Honesty in retail