Management Maverick Gifts

' I used to lead by example but it was too much work.'

'What if, and I know this sounds kooky, we communicated with the employees.'

'When are you going to show some INITIATIVE, Findley?', 'When you TELL me to, sir!'

'Don't just sit there, hire someone who agrees with me.'

'Welcome to our , Don't let the tail Wag The Dog, management training.'

"I heard there's something big coming down from top management."

"Let's see which decision gets reversed first."

"People like sincerity - learn to fake that and you've got it made."

'The ethics consultant said our business conduct is immoral. I immediately took action and fired the guy.'

'The new incentive program seems to be working quite nicely.'

'Next... we'll learn about ducking blame.'

'Knock it off. That's just the kind of backward thinking I was talking about.'

"He's right, but he didn't have to rub our faces in it."

"I tried to pull rank at the board meeting, and I threw my back out."

'Listen, here's the thing, I know I have the capacity to make things happen despite some scratches on my record.'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

"You're wrong! I'm not the worst boss you've ever had. I'm the worst former boss you've ever had."

'Take a deep breath and don't panic - we're walking by the reason this area's known as the 'Fear Factor'!'

'Managing a team in the current climate requires new skills...'

'We're not interested in loyalty,but we do value obedience.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

Colin had finished the 'One Minute Manager' and was now practising the 3467 minute tea break.

'Everyone in this office does more work than you!'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Team Leader

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'