Workplace Maverick Gifts

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

Targets.

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

Corporate Recruiters, Inc. makes a HUGE mistake hauling up its drift net in full view of a Greenpeace International office.

In, Out, Shake it all about

'You just don't seem to be fitting in.'

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

'I told you, if the LA branch steals our thunder, there is no more dialogue.'

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'I say we try it.'

Management Speak - reading between the lines: "This new role would involve some extra responsibilities." "He wants me too work twice as hard."

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

'There always seems to be ONE trouble-maker in the company who gets a sick thrill from rebelling against our corporate culture!'

"We have a REALLY high turnover rate here."